Thursday, February 28, 2008

Shhh. Don't run away. This is really, really fun. I promise.

Here's my picture:



Shhhh! I told you -- very quiet, will you?

Here's another. And, shh...



OK, that's enough. OK, now here's the thing. I am completely without friends. Can you imagine? Not a soul. Except for Jesus and the Saints, that is. Well, you need SOMEONE to talk to, don't you? I guess it's from growing up as a sensitive nature in a household with a lot of corporal punishment. Or maybe it was the agony of acne that started in high school and didn't really subside until a few years ago, leaving it's own legacy.

Now part of it is chronic fatigue that comes with having two lousy, low paying jobs. Or maybe that is just another symptom. Hell, I don't know! If I knew, I wouldn't have this kind of a blog, now, would I? And I wouldn't be the perennial outsider and rebel that I turned out to be.

OK, now here's the scoop: I am too lazy to even make an effort at being interesting or attractive. I kind of figure I don't care. I kind of figure, it's not MY business to be interesting or good looking -- for Pete's sake that's YOUR job. If you want to find me interesting or attractive, I'm not going to stop you -- knock yourself out. Tell me when you're done.

Now, this is the thing. I've ALWAYS had this view. Ever since I could remember, I have always been amused when someone liked me. That's not to say, I never encouraged it. I have been as manipulative a flirt as the next person. But I never acutally believed I had any good qualities. It was just a game, to see what I could do -- like Romantic Monopoly. Sometimes you'd end up with Hotels on Park Place, and sometimes a green bungalo on Baltic.