Mark

My current assignment as a guard at a deserted post has provided me a lot of free time, which I have been filling with the written word, specifically the Bible, the beginning of Plato, and some lighter fare. I have been going through Mark's gospel and am developing an appreciation for this enthralling account of Jesus' ministry.

It is the shortest Gospel, comprehending Jesus' earthly career in sixteen chapters. The speeches are short and the action swift. the plot starts with Jesus recruiting his apostles from Galilee. It then follows his ministry of teaching and healing the Jewish populace, and continues with his expansion into non-Jewish territory. Friction with the authorities results in a tension which builds up gradually to his arrest and condemnation. Finally, the story culminates in the abandonment and crucifixion, with a small coda dedicated to his resurrection. It gains force from it's brevity. One is enabled to see the whole storyline at a glance, even for a borderline A.D.D. like myself.

The more I study and pray, the more I marvel at the fleeting nature of what is called faith. The ability of it to overcome reasonable doubt, even for a confirmed *scientist* like myself is remarkable. I have developed a new empathy for doubters and atheists. I must admit, the gospel seems to me quite unreasonable, like a fairytale. That said, when praying in a state of grace, my predicament (doubt) can be subsumed into the larger story of Christ's passion. The end result is that even my doubt is given a dignity and a significance. The key to my not being swept away by doubt, and giving grace a chance to flower is to unassign *reason* as the arbiter of *truth*, and to substitute in love. Eventually reason catches up, and can understand that love and not understanding is the great guide to one's thoughts and the surest means to happiness. Happiness, and not understanding, reveals itself in a flash of insight as ultimate arbiter of truth.